One of the things I love about Jiu Jitsu is, it is results oriented, you basically get what you earn. There is a very direct and very profound truth that you learn as you develop in Jiu Jitsu, “you get immediate feedback.” If you don’t have the defenses, you know it when you roll. If you don’t roll, you don’t have the experience. If you don’t have the experience, you need to work more and approach it SMARTER. You become humble, or you LEAVE. You tap or you become unconscious. You respect your training partner, or you “Get Worked.” The very practice of Jiu Jitsu is a practice of perseverance, persistence, humility and problem solving.
In these times we are living in it is very common for people to expect a feeling of certainty in regard what they feel “They Deserve”. Many young people seem to feel they should have what everyone has, without putting in the time, work, dedication, sweat and sacrifice. I believe this feeling of entitlement places a low value on what they actually DO have. This world of immediate gratification and instant results is at the service of this generation, they want it all, and they want it NOW!
One of the products of this behavior is, many times people DO get things without putting in the work, and because of this, we have developed a generation of mediocrity. In fact, it appears that mediocrity is the NEW standard. People can do just enough to get by in their jobs, in school and in LIFE and still somewhat prosper. In schools, you can be mediocre as an athlete and still be on the team, and you won’t sit on the bench. You can be mediocre in class and still progress. You can enter a contest, and everyone gets a prize. There is usually a “Safety Net”, so if we don’t do what we are supposed to, we are given guidance and second chances, warnings and special conditions. And if we aren’t given these provisions, if we FAIL because of our behavior, we are shocked. We have developed a generation of people that don’t like to be disappointed. In fact, one of the things most often said to me by my clients and their parents are, “What if they don’t succeed?” They don’t want to be disappointed. I’m going to give you a “SHOCKER” folks. Disappointment is the foundation of excellence. Disappointment is critical and necessary for success! Without disappointment, there is no perseverance, no persistence, no reaching for the next level, no excellence! Anybody who has been highly successful, whether it is in business, sports, career, scholastically or in any area that is of any real importance has failed many times. I have personally FAILED to the point of tears. To the point that I wanted to GIVE UP! To the degree that I was so frustrated, that I had to succeed in order to redeem my dignity and self esteem. That is HOW I SUCCEEDED!
Much of this attitude of self-entitlement is unrealistic, but what is even more dangerous, it is against some very basic LAWS of human survival. One of the first laws we are taught is the “Law Of Reciprocity”. This is a very fundamental, and logic based natural principle of life. What you reap, so you must sow. You get back what you put in. You become what you think about most of the time. And it comes from our very existence, if we didn’t hunt or forage, we starved. If we didn’t fight our enemies, we perished. If we didn’t find safe shelter, we would die. Pretty simple concept, wouldn’t you agree? Yet, for some reason, parents decided that they wanted to provide MORE for their children, give them a life that they, perhaps didn’t have. The HUGE problem with this ideal is, there is little work put in, so there is little value placed on the efforts these people give to their children. They want more! They have become a generation of loving things and using people. Rather than loving people and using things! In their eyes, The Law Of Reciprocity has become the Law Of I Deserve This Because Of Who I am. What many hold as valuable has become predicated without VALUES.
We as individuals, as teachers, as parents have the ability to guide others to see the importance of the VALUE of developing ourselves, and our values. One thing I learned a long time ago is, it’s never crowded at the top. If you put in the time to become a little better each day, a little more skilled, a little stronger, you will be above the status quo, you will be unique and you will be rewarded congruently with your ACTION. If you do nothing, you deserve relatively the same. NOTHING. Be the anomaly, become the model, set the NEW standard. Develop yourself, make your list and begin NOW!
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